Wednesday, 3 February 2010

When Being Right, Just Isn't Right.

Hello My Dear Friends,

I have sad news to bring you today.

For some time now my adopted sister's Father has been ill. He is 83 and had been unwell for a while.
He went into hospital for some routine tests to find out why he felt unwell and kept loosing his balance.
While in there the hospital ran a whole batch of tests and discovered that he had cancer of the lungs, further tests showed that he also had cancer of the liver, the kidneys and a tumour on his brain.

The hospital in France (which is where they live) gave him 3months to 3 years, but also said that they could do nothing for him.

To be honest we have been living with this knowledge for some time now and while it is a terrible shock for us, it has obviously rocked my sisters world.
We talked about a lot of things and have already cried together over Papa (as we both call him)

On Sunday I took "E" to the airport and sent her to France to be with her Papa and her Mama.
E is going out there for 3 weeks and she asked me, "Do you think Papa will go while I am out there" I have a lot of knowledge about cancer and how it works and a close relationship with death due to a job I use to do. I didn't want to lie so I told her the truth and what to look out for so that she would know when the time was coming.

10 minuets ago I took the call I so didn't want to have to take and that is that Papa has passed.
"E" said to me you were right it happen just as you said it would; and my heart just sank.
He was a dear sweet man whose presence in my life will be missed.

This is one of those times when being right just isn't right.

One day I will tell you all about Papa and how the old German soldier became the surrogate father to this crazy mixed up Jewish girl. But right now I need to close the curtains, light the candles and cover the mirrors as well as gather the family together. If you don't see or hear from me for a few days, I know you will understand.

Much love

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Oh!! Monica, Who Made That Mess!!!

Hi My Darlings,
Am fine and well and hoping that you all are as well.
I haven't blogged, as I don't really know what to talk about right now.

I'm busy trying to re-organise the house.
I used to be called "Monica" by my family and friends as I was so like Monica from "Friends".
I have to admit that in many ways they were right, but over this last year and if I'm honest for a longer period really, I have kept the home clean but just shoved things away like some demented magpie, stuffing things in any space it would fit in. What with working and household chores and being sick, I'm surprised anything in the house ever got done.

What exactly is camping tent pegs doing in the kitchen draw with the first aid kit and the cats flea shampoo.....I shudder to think where my head was at on those days!!!!!!!

But now I am feeling better it's time to take the house apart room by room and reorganise the home. It's a mess; I use to live by the saying "A place for everything and everything in it's place"
This really wasn't to do with keeping house, but more a way of keeping my head in order. I seriously didn't have the time to go on a treasure hunt for things every time I needed it. I very much wanted to be able to say top left hand draw in the bathroom, for the so-and so. That way I didn't have to think, or search wasting time I didn't have. This might sound mad, but I always found it to be very freeing and less stressful in the long run.

Raising kids is, lets face it is hard enough. I know two parent families that have a hard time doing it and keeping a clear head and I really hate being surround with mess, it's almost as if the state of the home very much reflects the state of my mind.

Now despite having a lovely craft room to work in, I just can't get my head round creative thinking, as all I can really think of is, that I really should tackle the rest of the home.
I can't open the airing cupboard with out placing my own life in danger, getting stressed at the thought of going in there and then wondering if I should seek out my protective work clothing, hi-vis jacket, so I can be found when buried, hard hat so that I don't sustain any serious head injuries and eye protection so as not to loose and eye while looking up at the falling derbies, that I know I should have sorted before my impending death by my own mess.

And; I refuse to even talk about any draw, in any room, in any part of this chaotic small square box I lovingly call home.
It's almost as if I have just woken up from a deep sleep and while I was sleeping goblins broke in and threw a party.

So at the moment I really truly need to sort the house out and turn it back into a home, before the goblins move in and take over.
Did you note the manic look in Monica's eyes at the top of the post, well that's my standard look at the moment. I keep thinking I am going to find a new life form every time I open a draw or a cupboard.
Below is a fair representation of my own airing cupboard. I think I will find my protective gear before I attempt this one.

oh and if you don't hear from me for a few days please send me a rescue dog, you know the type the ones with the little barrel around their necks. Well you'll need to send one with a keg of brandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much love
Blog Widget by LinkWithin