The Mad Rambling of a Hot Hormonal Forty Something.
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Friday, 8 January 2010
I almost forgot this; If he had lived the great Elvis would have been 75 today. Much over the years has been said about Elvis and I really don't want to add anything to it all. Except to say that if I ever had to choose 10 songs only to listen to for the rest of my life this one would be one of them. It's simply beautiful and his voice is so wonderful on this song. It is with out doubt my favorite Elvis song I choose this video not because it is one of the better made for YouTube, but rather for all the great photos of him.
I think I may have to lie down in a darkened room for the rest of the day. The reason for this is the BBC, yes that wonderful British Institution, we all love so much. I really have come to the conclusion that we have become a nation of media lead zombies and common sense has taken a holiday, maybe it's off in Greenland on a golfing trip with the Gulf Stream.
This is the latest madness from the BBC. Just this morning they said
Don't go out and panic buy as it will lead to shortages, however due to the cold weather many isolated farms are unable to get their milk to market, so if the weather continues there could be shortages of milk..........by Monday. (The National Union Of Farmers are saying this is not true, there is plenty of milk in storage and it is in fact only the very, very isolated farmers who are having this problem)
Super markets are running out of food, due to panic buying (which I believe the BBC may have started last week by telling us all that food would run out at supermarkets if the weather got too bad!!!!!)
We are running out of gas, due to a (stupid) Government. (Nothing to do with selling all our gas and oil stocks from the North Sea back in the 1970s..check out Norway they didn't sell theirs and they are doing really well)
We are seriously running out of grit, due to councils not ordering in enough or not using it correctly. Now the Government have taken it over and are rationing it. Come summer there will be floods, this is due to all the salt and grit being put on the roads, as it won't wash away easily and will block drains. Therefore leading to floods when we get heavy summer storms.
Oh and lastly, the recession will last longer now due to all the money being lost as people can't get into work.
Now none of these are actual reports, they are the stupid talk between the presenters. The milk one comes from the man who reports on the financial world, who happens to have a brother-in-law on an isolated farm, who can not get his milk picked up due to the isolation of his farm.
These people are paid a stupid amount of money for what amounts to reading the news and telling a story. We over here have to pay a stupid license fee of £142:50 per year for the privilege of having the BBC even if you don't watch their programs, but have a T.V. The very lest I expect them to do is to REPORT THE NEWS and READ THE FACTS. Not make up stupidness as they go along to fill in time.
On the other side they showed us all how to dress up against the bad weather, what ever next, lessons in how to breathe and blink!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you it's not all doom and gloom, as sales of condoms have gone up since the bad weather came in........now what do you suppose they use them for apart from the obvious, am sure if I watch TV for long enough today some smartypants on the telly will tell me!!!!!!
This is what Britain looks like right now, Thanks to NASA, we can all get a clear view of what the country looks like from space right now. I'm tucked up under the swirly bit of cloud. I left the photo big so as to give you all a good look. Now it's said that we get are weather from the Gulf Stream, however this just maybe a myth click here to read more. I don't know if it's true or not, however I do know that the Gulf Stream is at present over Greenland and I bet they are coping fine.
I hope your all well today. I'm fine but snowed in on the hill again and the children refuse to take me out in it as I fell over so many times in February '09. I think I told you all before that I went out with daughter and No 2 son, who ordered me home after I kept falling over. I did say that I would get snow boots for the next snow storm. Well I didn't and so they won't let me out.
Horrid kids, will feed them vegetables for dinner Mwhahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Here's some random thoughts that are buzzing round my head.......yes! yes! I know thinking is bad for me, but sometimes I just can't help myself!!!!!!!
I wish Bear would come in the house and stay. Bear has been found a couple of times under the dinning room table, but the minute he spots one of us he is up and running. Despite all the recent cold, he is looking really well now. It's taken us a long time to get him into shape, but he has filled out a treat and his coat is glossy and thick. But I worry about him out there in all this snow. We really do believe that he is a stray as he calls on us so often during the day, sometimes up to 5 times for a feed that if he was doing that and eating else where he would be huge. We know he sleeps in a shed in one of our neighbours gardens. Maybe one day Misty and Bear will get along and he will feel more confident about coming into a warm home.
What is it with me and watching the Jeremy Kyle show (British version of Jerry Springer). What is wrong with me that I like to watch car-crash TV...I really need to get out more!!!!!!!!
Why do all my friends keep telling me about how much they had to drink over Christmas? I'm almost tee-total and not one bit interested in how drunk they got? The obsession British folks have with drink is shaming us all. Everybody wants to talk about how smashed they got and how they can't remember any thing. I'm so not interested!!!!!!
Am I the only one sick of seeing the cash for gold adverts....people are only buying your gold because the banks are buggered. What happens when the gold price drops because the market is flooded.
Is it too early in the year to be planning the summer camping trips?
Why is the £20, that I can't find and keep looking for still bugging me 3 weeks later?
Why is this country almost at a standstill because of the snow?
What new skill am I going to try to take up this year? I don't do resolutions at the new year as it leds to failure for me, instead I do "take ups". Basically I take up a new skill or a challenge. One year it was to read two books a month. I have lapsed a little on that one, but still mostly do it.
I'm I weird for getting excited about flat-pack furniture? I love making it up!!!!!!!
Why do some weight sites say I am a large frame or that I am morbidly obese and others say I am a medium frame and overweight? note to self.....listen to the doctor!!!!!! she said lose 3stone.
What am I going to make that lot for dinner tonight? Oh yeah I remember vegetables!!!!!!
Well that's it for today, am off to peel a ton weight of veggies now Mwhahahaha!!!!
Much love Lia xx
ps, stupidly forgot to post this when I finished it. Told you thinking is bad for me!!!!
Great day today, I feel really well and it's now 22:54 and snowing, which is great for two reasons, a) it's pretty and b) the hated neighbours won't be about for a few days so it will be peaceful....(does hand stands and chart wheels round house!!!!!).
Have you meet Mamma over at Mamma has spoken .Well if you haven't pop over and see her, she's very sweet, rather funny and a lovely blog friend of mine. Mamma is also the mother of four strapping young men, one of whom is an American soldier on a tour of duty in Afghanistan. I don't know how she stays sane, but I think blogging helps.
Today she put up a post about not forgetting your underwear. At first reading the title, I thought maybe she had been to Walmarts and had her eyes melted by some hidious deluded female, who thought it was sexy to go out with no drawers on her backside or the smallest of small shorts, or the highest hem line equally with no underwear on. uck!!!!
But to my relief it was more to do with her weight loss. Mamma has lost about 50lbs in weight over the last year. I think that is amazing...a round of applause to that woman. I won't tell you what happened to her, you can read that for yourselves on her blog. But it's rather funny. Mamma has inspired me to keep going with my weight loss, I have been quietly losing weight.
I say quietly as, I have never really had to diet before, so the whole idea of it was a bit daunting to me. However I have been told; rather ordered to be honest to lose weight by the Specialist I saw in November. Funny how the weight creeps on and you don't really notice it. I knew I had put the weight on, that started a while back when I gave up smoking, but giving up work has only increased my waist line. I did ask people if I had got fat, but all I got was "a bit" and "your tall, so you can carry a bit of weight"....did I ask that?
Anyway it turns out that I had got fat. In fact when they weighed me at the hospital and the nurse told me how much I weighed, I was so embarrassed, as I was more than on the day I gave birth to Callum and he wasn't exactly a big baby at 7lb 12oz. I wanted the ground to open up. No wonder I was tired and so ill. Not exactly doing myself any favours.
I resolved that, that was it. No way was I going to carry on like that. Saw the Specialist, had a good chat about what to do, where to find help etc and came away knowing that no-one was ever going to tell me that I weighed that much again.
Did some research and found out that there are foods that can actually make the fibromyalgia worse. Which in turn means that I couldn't, wouldn't, be able to get energy, meaning more bed rest and even less movement. I took on board what the research told me and have slowly been getting a bit better. Just got over a nasty little "man-germ", but am feeling better and better.
Much more energy, not as much as I would like but hey, I will get there. But the funny thing is., I to have a similar problem as Mamma has just encountered, which Francis (with an i) found so very funny and I was mortified. Mamma however seems to have taken it all in her stride, as she does just about everything. So knowing that she has lost 50lbs is such an inspiration to me.
Having revealed so much about myself recently, I might as well tell you the really horrid truth of my weight gain, which I'd like to say creped up on me when I wasn't on the ball, but the real truth is that I knew I was gaining weight, just didn't realise how much. Never having had a set of scales before, something that was also corrected on that fateful day.
I'm 5ft 8in tall and a medium frame and my weight was always between about 10st 7lbs and 11st; roughly, on the odd times I stood on a friends scales. If my clothes felt tight I just sort of cut out things, mostly chocolate and bacon (no not eaten together, silly you!!!) and cut down my portion size and upped my fruit in take. Never really worried about my weight as I felt good.
So I'm 5ft 8in, medium build.
November 26th I weighed......14st 1lb. December 17th I weighed.......13st 5lb. January 05th I weighed.......13st 6lb.
That means I had Christmas, which was a bit of a worry and oh so tempting and only gained a pound. Yay for me. I can't wait to say I have lost 50lbs like Mamma has. That will be amazing and now I know that Mamma has been so successful I won't find it so hard to stay on track. So thank you Mamma, as always another blog buddy is an inspiration to me. You lot rock.
Also now that I have told you all that I "have" to diet and it's out there for the whole World to read, I guess I really have to stay on track. I will keep you up dated on how well I do. Am going back to swimming soon, well when I can get back into my swim suit. I love swimming. Francis (with an i) got my the wii, wii fit board and wii sport and wii fitness, but the Specialist says I have to wait a little while before I go mad on them and then I have to start slowly.
Did I tell you it's snowing. Big fat pure white, as big as your palm snow flakes yippee!!!! Francis (with an i) is home tomorrow, which means I will get to go out and play in it this time. Am gonna make a snow angel for Mel, over at Melsdream.
Thanks for all your lovely comments regarding my last post. I thought I would make a post rather than just some small little comment that you might not check back on. Besides I had also been thinking a lot about the things you said to me and how I got to be the me I am today.
I do always value your comments and try to take on board what you say to me, as you have all become valued friends. I am a firm believer that if enough people, that you know, value, trust and respect are telling you the same things, then you really should take them on board as much as possible. But I didn't always believe in that and often ignored the well given and good intended advise.
It took a long time for me to work out who I was, still not sure I know where I am going, but the journey has been a blast to say the lest about it all. I never really started to come into myself until rather late in life, (I was 32) compared to my friends around me, who all seemed to have it so together, while I lurched from crisis to the next crisis. With my poor 3 kids in tow and the poor little things wondering why they were being raised by a headless chicken.
I remember when the penny dropped that life wasn't a dress rehearsal, when it did the noise was deafening. I can remember the clank, clank of the penny as it dropped from a high place. I knew that day that I had reach my limit and that somewhere in all this mess I had played a part in it. That I wasn't as innocent in it all, as I had thought. We do whether or not you choose to see it, play apart in what happens to us. After all we put ourselves in to that place, at that time. Be it that we don't see it at the time, but in hindsight we do. We have choices in life, I made bad ones. But it's not the mistake you make, it's what you learn from the mistake that is important.
So finally the penny dropped. It happened the day my husband came home drunk again and he completely lost it. Here's what happened.
He went out early in the morning and like a dog that knows it's going to be kicked, I knew, I just knew that when he got back that there would be trouble. He came in just as I was serving dinner, said he was starving and that he would eat with us. For the briefest of moments I thought we would all be ok. The kids were all happy and relaxed and he seemed to be in a good mood.
Until that was he realised that Patricia wasn't eating the same as the rest of us. (I don't believe in feeding kids things they really don't like and she really didn't like the dinner I was serving that night,. She still doesn't in fact and with good reason.). I still find it hard to put into words what he did that night, but he suddenly reach out for Patricia and before I had chance to take it on board he was banging her head of the table and screaming at her. The World stopped for a moment, I couldn't take in what was happening in front of me, there was a horrid sounding thud, thud, thud, then I realised. I remember hitting him with a chair to get him off her, I remember getting in between them and protecting her, she was 6, I remember Ashley 9 at the time, grabbing his baby brother (18 mths old) out the high chair and then getting hold of his sister and pulling her towards the door, while I stayed between them and the maniac that was their father, as he rained down blows on me.
We lived in a town house and it was over 4 stories, instead of heading downstairs, the kids in their confusion headed upstairs to Ashley's room. I heard the door slam and the children screaming. I ran for the stairs and the kids, he grabbed my ankle and dragged me down the stairs, face first, I twisted around to kick him in the chest. He leaped back at me and I could feel his hands round my throat and it was suddenly harder to breathe, there were spots before my eyes, my body started to become heavy and then he whispered almost lovingly and softly "When I'm done, I'm going after them". He didn't have to tell me who "them " were I knew he meant our kids.
I had a choice in that moment, die or fight. When I say that please believe me, it really was a case of die or fight. We had, had many fights before this one, but instinctively I knew this was a fight for my life, but more importantly a fight for the kids lives. This would be the last fight. I only weighed about 100lbs (about 7 1/2 stone) and he was at least twice my weight. I still to this day have no idea how I got the strength, but somehow I brought my knee up and connected with his.......bits for a better word. As he let go and bent down I kicked him down the stairs and ran for the kids. He was right on my heel, as I ran into Ashley's room, he yelled "Quick Mum, use this" and threw a cricket bat at me. In what can only be described as a nano second I had caught the bat swung round and clobbered him with it. There was a horrid noise, like a dry twig snapping violently and a scream from him, but he kept coming, so I hit him again and again and again and again and I kept hitting him till he was on his knees and then out cold on the floor. The silence was deafening and I wanted him away from us, as far away as I could physically get him.
I dragged him then out of our home, down three flights of stairs, making sure he banged his head on every stair all the way down. I dragged him up our garden path which was about 30ft long and was concrete, not the smooth stuff but the rough textured stuff, face first and I dumped him outside our garden gate. I remember looking down at him and then exhaling, a huge exhale as if I had been holding my breath my whole life. When I breathed in the cold air stung my lungs and burned all the way down, yet never has fresh air felt so bloody good.
In the distance I could hear the sirens of the police I knew they were for me. One of the neighbours asked me if we were ok. I looked at him lying there, turned to the neighbour and said "We will be now". In that very moment I knew, that things would never be that bad again. I felt strange, as if a weight had been lifted and a light had been switched on in my head.
I had broken both his collar bones, 7 ribs, fractured his skull in two places, fractured one of his wrists and he had grazes all over his face. I'm not proud of it, it's the worst thing I have ever done to another human being, but one of us was leaving that night and it wasn't going to be me. He tried to have me arrested and charges pressed, but the police, sick of coming to our home refused and told him that it was self defense and I was not going to be charged. Some of the neighbours told the police that he had come home from the pub in that state, had fallen over in the street, so some of his injuries must have come from that. I did however have him arrested and charged with the assault of our daughter. Funny he didn't like it one bit.
The next day I woke up a different woman. I think she had always been inside me, but now she was rising and nothing and no-one was going to get in the way. It wasn't the first time I had woken up with black eyes, bruises and marks all over me, but as I looked in the mirror I knew it would be the last. Never again would my kids be in such danger.
Years later during a phone conversation with the husband he said to me that; when I hit him with the cricket bat there was a look in my eyes that scared him and I remember thinking GOOD! He said that at that moment, he knew there was no coming back from this and he wasn't surprised to come round in hospital with a police man standing next to him waiting to arrest him.
Another odd thing happened in the few days after that, friends have told me how they noticed a steeliness to me and a determination that they hadn't seen before and people knew I was serious. They helped a lot and I got serious about life.
We've never looked back from that day and we never will. We have talked about it, which has been good for all of us. But we will never be there again.
Some one once told me that there has to be evil in the World, so that when good comes along you will know the difference and appreciate it all the more, (I think it's a quote from Buddha). I can say that, even if I could go back in time and change what happened to me that I wouldn't Funny thing is that everything that happened, led me to who I am today and I like me. If God was there, I think in was in the cricket bat. I'd have never believed a cricket bat could do that much damage, if I hadn't have seen it first hand.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not the end of the World if crap happens to you, sometimes it can be the start of the journey to your self. Personally speaking, I wouldn't have missed any of it for all the tea in China (do they still grow tea in China????)