Sunday, 6 December 2009

OH!!! What's A Girl To Do?

Hi everyone,

So the beautiful Patricia has left home and I have a spare room in my home now.

So what to do with it?

We knew for a few months that Patricia was going to move out, due to the fact that she had announced it and she was at home so much as she needed to save up for deposits and rent.
She has a nice little place. It has a very large room that is the lounge and bedroom, a separate kitchen, which is bigger and better than mine and a separate bathroom, again better than mine.

Added bonus is that it's right next to the golf course where she runs the golf shop, the darling is not a morning person and two buses to work , while it was not too far from home was "doing her head in" as she put it, as she simply couldn't stand the buses anymore because they often had loud and noisy kids on their way to school on them. Ahhhh poor little lamb, I did remind her that it wasn't so long ago that she was one of them, to which she laughed and said "I was never that loud in the mornings". I'm not so sure!!!!!

I think I have told you all in the past that, we live in a very small modest house, in fact it isn't a house, as we have a flat above us, so it is a maisonette, but we have two floors, so it feels like a house to us.
The two sons, share a room and to call it a pig sty is to insult pigs. They are messy and untidy and I never ever go in there. I know I should care and make them do it, but their step dad told me years ago that making them do it wasn't doing them any favours and that they needed to take responsibility for their own surrounding and I was to stop helping them, as they would soon get fed up with it all and clean it up. So we tried this and nothing got done in there. I went back to plan A, they got annoyed at having to have Mum help them clean up, so when 2years ago the wonderful Francis (with an i) moved in, we decorated the house from top to bottom and brought everyone new furniture and they promised to clean it every week. Needless to say they don't and for a while I carried on cleaning it, but last year when I gave up work I said they had to NOW do it. They don't and I no longer give a damn about it, it's their room, their mess and their problem.

This empty room is up for grabs and in a way I feel that they have not earned the right to have yet more space to mess up in. In another way I think that at 24yr and 17yrs old they should be in their own rooms. But then we come back to the mess they already live in.
Patrica had been gone 2days when they asked about having it and they had even decided who was having which room.

Thing is, I need a craft room and my own work space. As I have to do everything in the dinning, which is also where we eat and the main computer is, so it's already well used.

Here's the dilemma, do I give over this room to them two pair of mess, lay wot-sits OR claim it as my own craft room.

Just so you don't think the boys are all bad, they do, do all their chores and help around the house, it's just when it comes to their room, they are lazy and useless at cleaning it.
All suggestions as to how to get them to clean up their space would be welcomed.


  1. They've proven to you by their past behavior that they don't appreciate the room they have. Why reward them with another room to trash? It's all about tough love.

    I say use the extra room as your craft room/workplace and pretend their messy room doesn't bother you at all.

    I know I sound mean but you can't let them run the show; it is YOUR home, not theirs.

    It's great to see a post here.

  2. I am thinking along those lines and I think I just need to know that it's not me being mean or selfish.
    I agree they don't deserve another space to ruin, just need to not feel bad about it as it seems a bit selfish.
    But thanks for your comment, does help to know others think it's the right thing to do.
    Some times it's hard too be the one who calls the shots.
    Mind you Francis(with an i)is all for me having it for the same reasons as you.
    Much love

  3. uhm 24, time to fine their own place soon, so no guilt here with making them share....

  4. Welllllllll......we ARE talking 24 and 17 for crying out loud.
    Enough of the broken promises, already. You have given ample opportunities for them to put their money where their mouth is. You think one more opportunity is going to produce different? Yeah, well....I'm a 'show me' kinda gal. If they weren't the age they were....might be a different response. But 24 and 17?! NononononoNO! I'm with Francis (with an I).

    Tough love ain't always fun. But neither is being lied to and conned and taken for a ride over and over again. They can get different by doing different. I'd make it that simple. In the meantime--go enjoy that lovely work spot and claim it for your own. :-)

    YEAH!! A pretty work room!!

    Oh...and congratulations to the girl. She's gotta feel pretty proud of herself!

  5. Hey Lia, it's your room, your need for a workshop and your business that earns the money. Take what you need to contribute to the household in your way. Let the boys sort out their own mess, and fumigate it after they move out.

    (Welcome back, btw)

  6. Well I took all the support you all gave me and I have made a craft room for Moi.

    It's not much at the moment, but Francis (with an i)is going to decorate it for me during his Christmas break.Ok I could decorate it my self, but Francis(with an i) wants to do it for me and I have no intention of getting in his way.
    Daughters boyfriend is a carpet fitter and he will fit the carpet and daughter is going to help me with the design of if and all the girly finishing touches.
    The boys have the "HUMP" about it, but it has been pointed out to them that they were given more than enough chances to sort their mess out and they missed the opportunity.

    Once my room is done I will put up a post of it with before and after photos.
    Thanks folks, it's good to know that I wasn't being mean or selfish and to have your encouragement.
    Much love


Blog Widget by LinkWithin