The Mad Rambling of a Hot Hormonal Forty Something.
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Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Please! Ladies, A Bit Of Decorum
Sorry I have been A.W.O.L. for a while, but to be honest it is this silly illness again. Some times it makes me really tired and I need to sleep lots and then when I am awake I am trying to look after my family, who bless them take it all in their stride and are very good humoured and kind about it all. I picked up a tummy bug from Francis and it sort of floored me. But am ok now.
I have just finished watching one of the single most stupid programmes I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. At first I sat through it because I couldn't find the remote control to throw at the telly and then after a few minutes it was a case of, I really couldn't believe how dump, stupid and desperate some women really are.
This show was about older women and younger men. For obvious reasons this always intrigues me, which ever way round it is. As you know there is an age gap between me and Francis. Although you would be hard pressed at times to work out who is the youngest in this relationship, as I am such a big child at times and he can be a real grumpy old man. Well maybe that's not totally true. The bit about me being a child is, I'm so immature at times it scares me and Francis is so mature it scares everyone else at times. He really is a man beyond his years and people are always surprised by him, me included.
This show was about women who go to Turkey to find themselves a younger husband. I never can understand why people go in search of this type of relationship. I certainly didn't go on the hunt for it, and neither did Francis. We meet and fell in love and have been inseparable ever since.
The attraction was not that I was older than him or that he was younger than me. Sometimes you just click with a person and if your lucky you find them at the start of your life and travel through life together. That wasn't the way it was for me and Francis is my 3rd long term relationship.
However he is certainly the best one and it's not because I get to play boss and be in charge of our relationship. No-one wears the trousers in our relationship. Sometimes I take the lead in things and sometimes it is Francis who takes the lead. We play to each others strengths and supports each other through our weaknesses, but hey isn't that what being in a partnership is all about.
The best advice I can ever give anyone in a relationship is that you have to work as a team. If you have a team of horses pulling your wagon and one goes to the left and the other pulls to the right, your going nowhere, but if they both move forward at the same pace together, going in the same direction a smooth journey will be had by all. The best marriages I ever saw were like this and they lasted the longest.
These women go out on holiday and expect to find a lasting relationship within two weeks. Good luck with that one!!!! How mental is that!!!
One woman went on a date and was over an hour late. When the man asked her why she was late she berated him about who the hell did he think he was, a young boy telling her, a feminist what time she should or shouldn't turn up!! Well correct me if I am wrong but if I am to meet with someone the least I can do is turn up on time, it's called manners love! What the hell did it have to do with being a feminism? It's rude to be late for any one, plain and simple. If the other person is putting themselves out there and going to the trouble of turning up on time for you, is it too hard to accord them the same respect. Whatever their age! But that's not really what got me about that little scene, for me it was the fact that she knew full well she was going to meet a man much younger then her, he was in fact about 27 and she was about 53. What got me was that she called him a BOY. Again correct me if I'm wrong, but at 27 that makes him a man. So already she is diminishing him to the level of a child and asserting her dominance.
Yes! yes! I know men never really grow up and there is a Peter Pan quality to men, but that's just one of the things about men that make them such wonderful creatures to spend your life with and be around, what ever their age. There is a sense of fun in men that is irresistible, to me any way. I have men in my life who are in their 50s and I just adore the Peter-Pan in all of them.
I was once told that if I wanted my sons to grow into men that it was a good idea to treat them like men and not to mummy them, this I would say holds true for men of any age. Too often I have seen women mummifying their partners and taking charge or asserting their dominance and then saying that their partners are useless or not man enough.
Desperation is no foundation for a relationship. Neither is thinking that you can go into any relationship with the upper hand just because you are the older party. There is a lot to be said about treating people as you wish to be treated.
One woman had been in a relationship with her younger husband for 8yrs and went on and on about how wonderful it was and how it was all so perfect. But under the surface it wasn't all that and a bag of chips. Her husband often went missing for several days and came back exhausted and slept. He also seemed to enjoy spending her money and the life style it afforded him. She on the other hand seemed to be drunk most of the time and acted like an irresponsible teenager, as if she was having her second childhood.
Hardly a great advert for an age gap relationship. It really angers me when I see stuff like this. Not because I think my relationship with Francis is the perfect example, but rather because I strongly feel that this type of display is why we have faced so much prejudiced. People like to judge and yes! yes! I see the irony, I know that this is what I am doing to these people, but please bare with me when I say that there is good and bad in all things, I'm just sick to death of seeing only the bad.
There are plenty of woman sharing their lives very successfully and happily with younger men. No one bats an eyelid at younger women taking up with older men. You don't see a whole stream of shows about the downside of those relationships and I bet there are plenty.
I really don't care about who you are in a relationship with or even for that matter your sexual preference. I just wish that when people get into relationships that are shall we say, beyond the normal, they don't bring others in the same type of relationship down to the level of side show freaks for others to pick holes in and ridicule. A bit of decorum, dignity and respect wouldn't go a miss. I mean would it kill them!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you want me, I'll be banging my head off the wall in the corner again. Much love Lia xx