Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Please! Ladies, A Bit Of Decorum

Hello Lovelies,

Sorry I have been A.W.O.L. for a while, but to be honest it is this silly illness again. Some times it makes me really tired and I need to sleep lots and then when I am awake I am trying to look after my family, who bless them take it all in their stride and are very good humoured and kind about it all.
I picked up a tummy bug from Francis and it sort of floored me. But am ok now.

I have just finished watching one of the single most stupid programmes I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. At first I sat through it because I couldn't find the remote control to throw at the telly and then after a few minutes it was a case of, I really couldn't believe how dump, stupid and desperate some women really are.

This show was about older women and younger men. For obvious reasons this always intrigues me, which ever way round it is. As you know there is an age gap between me and Francis. Although you would be hard pressed at times to work out who is the youngest in this relationship, as I am such a big child at times and he can be a real grumpy old man.
Well maybe that's not totally true. The bit about me being a child is, I'm so immature at times it scares me and Francis is so mature it scares everyone else at times. He really is a man beyond his years and people are always surprised by him, me included.

This show was about women who go to Turkey to find themselves a younger husband.
I never can understand why people go in search of this type of relationship. I certainly didn't go on the hunt for it, and neither did Francis. We meet and fell in love and have been inseparable ever since.

The attraction was not that I was older than him or that he was younger than me.
Sometimes you just click with a person and if your lucky you find them at the start of your life and travel through life together. That wasn't the way it was for me and Francis is my 3rd long term relationship.

However he is certainly the best one and it's not because I get to play boss and be in charge of our relationship. No-one wears the trousers in our relationship. Sometimes I take the lead in things and sometimes it is Francis who takes the lead. We play to each others strengths and supports each other through our weaknesses, but hey isn't that what being in a partnership is all about.

The best advice I can ever give anyone in a relationship is that you have to work as a team.
If you have a team of horses pulling your wagon and one goes to the left and the other pulls to the right, your going nowhere, but if they both move forward at the same pace together, going in the same direction a smooth journey will be had by all.
The best marriages I ever saw were like this and they lasted the longest.

These women go out on holiday and expect to find a lasting relationship within two weeks. Good luck with that one!!!! How mental is that!!!

One woman went on a date and was over an hour late. When the man asked her why she was late she berated him about who the hell did he think he was, a young boy telling her, a feminist what time she should or shouldn't turn up!!
Well correct me if I am wrong but if I am to meet with someone the least I can do is turn up on time, it's called manners love!
What the hell did it have to do with being a feminism? It's rude to be late for any one, plain and simple.
If the other person is putting themselves out there and going to the trouble of turning up on time for you, is it too hard to accord them the same respect. Whatever their age!
But that's not really what got me about that little scene, for me it was the fact that she knew full well she was going to meet a man much younger then her, he was in fact about 27 and she was about 53. What got me was that she called him a BOY. Again correct me if I'm wrong, but at 27 that makes him a man. So already she is diminishing him to the level of a child and asserting her dominance.

Yes! yes! I know men never really grow up and there is a Peter Pan quality to men, but that's just one of the things about men that make them such wonderful creatures to spend your life with and be around, what ever their age. There is a sense of fun in men that is irresistible, to me any way. I have men in my life who are in their 50s and I just adore the Peter-Pan in all of them.

I was once told that if I wanted my sons to grow into men that it was a good idea to treat them like men and not to mummy them, this I would say holds true for men of any age. Too often I have seen women mummifying their partners and taking charge or asserting their dominance and then saying that their partners are useless or not man enough.

Desperation is no foundation for a relationship. Neither is thinking that you can go into any relationship with the upper hand just because you are the older party. There is a lot to be said about treating people as you wish to be treated.

One woman had been in a relationship with her younger husband for 8yrs and went on and on about how wonderful it was and how it was all so perfect. But under the surface it wasn't all that and a bag of chips. Her husband often went missing for several days and came back exhausted and slept. He also seemed to enjoy spending her money and the life style it afforded him. She on the other hand seemed to be drunk most of the time and acted like an irresponsible teenager, as if she was having her second childhood.

Hardly a great advert for an age gap relationship.
It really angers me when I see stuff like this. Not because I think my relationship with Francis is the perfect example, but rather because I strongly feel that this type of display is why we have faced so much prejudiced.
People like to judge and yes! yes! I see the irony, I know that this is what I am doing to these people, but please bare with me when I say that there is good and bad in all things, I'm just sick to death of seeing only the bad.

There are plenty of woman sharing their lives very successfully and happily with younger men.
No one bats an eyelid at younger women taking up with older men. You don't see a whole stream of shows about the downside of those relationships and I bet there are plenty.

I really don't care about who you are in a relationship with or even for that matter your sexual preference. I just wish that when people get into relationships that are shall we say, beyond the normal, they don't bring others in the same type of relationship down to the level of side show freaks for others to pick holes in and ridicule. A bit of decorum, dignity and respect wouldn't go a miss. I mean would it kill them!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want me, I'll be banging my head off the wall in the corner again.
Much love


  1. I'm left shaking my head at these shows too. Here in the good old USA, we have SEVERAL of these shows where someone is looking for love by bring 20+ prospective mates into one house and narrowing it down to the lucky one. I've always scratched my head at these shows and wonder who in their right mind would go on one of these shows and REALLY think that they can find true love with a person who, if you believe what they are showing you, is sleeping with several of the contestants on the show. My sons watch these shows and I am ALWAYS commenting how low these shows are on so many levels....

  2. That's why the lady is a tramp.... Just happily singing--and grateful to hear that all is well....or, that at the very least it's getting better.

    I'm with ya--I'da tossed the remote and once again been validated about the awesomeness of NOT watching television. (I don't even bother!)

    Whatever sells--though I'm not sure why it would.

    I'm scared to think it's the thrill of seeing the poor treatment of another human being, though that seems to sell for some reason.
    It took me five years of the back and forth (literally) to surrender to the possibility that committing to a marriage with the man might not be an all bad deal. LOL He's wayyyyyy older than me (k...I mighta exaggerated....) and he's definitely not attached to Peter Pan (though I have enough of that goin' on for the both of us--so it's good I can overcompensate for his absence OF, dontchathink?) but it all works out as it's suppose to. I can't imagine giving it a week and then deciding!! But--I'm a bit of a hard sell, I'm told. LOL

    Generalizations and stereo-typing cheat people from really getting to know the human beings as the individuals they are.
    Seriously--I'da tossed the remote, fumed....and taken my sidewalk chalk to go make pretties.
    MUCH more productively peaceful than some silly television garbage. :-)

    Got chalk?! :-)

  3. Come on Lia stop sitting on the fence here!! Just tell it how it is!!!!
    Moral of this post don't watch TV that incenses you it's bad for your equilbruim!

  4. It is so nice to come across someone who likes men for the the things we (they) are.

    You're spot on re the cretin who thinks that because she is female (or even feminist) she has the right to turn up late. "Punctuality is the courtesy of kings"

    Hi Lia, hope you are well, always a pleasure to read your blog.

  5. That sounds like, um, quite a show. Wow. Yeah, that one would put me right over the edge about now. Ridiculous expectations and...egos! I pity the blokes that fall for these women.

    I love your commentary Lia. I just love it! I've really missed you this past week, I must say. I thought Blogger was giving you grief again, because it certainly has been giving it to me. I am so sorry you weren't feeling well. :( Please have wonderful Francis, give you a big hug for me ok?

  6. Thinkin' of you....hope all is well.

  7. I'm glad your relationship is so good. I can't imagine what these women think they will pick up if they go to Turkey for 2 weeks to find a husband! Women, eh!!

  8. Just came by to say hi, thinking of you. Hope you are feeling ok.
    *kisses* HH

  9. Sounds like a ghastly (and very entertaining) show! Why are the ones with the most abhorant values the ones we just can't turn our eyes away from??? Your relationship, on the other hand, sounds like it has it's head on straight, so to speak.

    Sorry for your ill health. I hope you are doing better.

  10. Good grief! I'm so late at getting to this gathering. I missed this post and can't imagine how I let that happen. For Pete's sake. Of all the events going on in our live's, there are some that are just to fun to ever, ever miss.

    I hope you stopped beating your head across the wall in the corner days ago. You mustn't do that. It won't accomplish anything other than to give you a bad headache and lumps on your skull to boot!

    I agree with all that you have written about here and thank you for saying it for me. Your way with words exceeds mine so I'm glad you've done the writing.

    I surely hope you're feeling better and have been able to get in the pool. If not, you'll get back to it soon, I'm sure of it.

  11. Well, I'm choosing to believe that spring has sprung and there's loads of places to go and things to do.

    Be well--and take care in the sunshine!

  12. *tap tap tap*


    Come out come out wherever you are!!!
    Allie allie oxen free?

    I do hope all is well.......

  13. I'm worried about you too!
    I think this has been the longest that you've gone without being here.
    Missing you!


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