Friday, 26 June 2009

I never said I was Perfect pt2

I never mentioned this in my last post as I really want to talk to my sister and Nutty, my best friend. Plus I needed to talk to Frances, but he really does have enough to deal with right now, so I don't want to bog him down with this.

Last night when, the husband of my friend came over to talk about the situation with his wife and I, he told me that his wife had, had a mental breakdown and that I was largely responsible for this turn of events.

I can not believe how badly this woman has gotten into my head and messed with it all.

I have spent the day with my sister, as some of you know we are meant to be going away camping, but cancelled. As we were meant to be together for the weekend, we decided to go ahead and spend the time together.

I'm so glad we did, as I really need to hear some home truths today and unfortunately my best girl lives 3hrs drive away, although we did talk today, more about Nutty's take on this later.

My sister is a gentle soul, but she never suffers fools, well never for long and she will tell me if i am in the wrong. We talked at length today about this whole mess and she told me that she had noticed a slight change in me and that without knowing, she could always tell when I had sent time with this woman, as I was often moody and snappy. That she felt this woman was bringing me down and had been for months. E also felt that when it came to give and take, I seemed to be the one giving a lot more than I was taking. E said she had found the friend to be very manipulating and in the end E had felt that I was being taken advantage of. In fact E and I had argued over this and I had got very belligerent about it. Not a moment I am proud of. Sorry E, I hope you know how much I love you. xx and that you were right, ok I said it, you were right.!!!

Nutty, said some things that made me think, again this is a woman whom I trust, totally.
Nutty has never put me wrong and will also not hesitate to let me know if I am wrong about something. But what really stuck a cord with me was when she said "Your being blamed for something that is beyond your control, it is not your fault that she has untreated mental health issues., it is beyond your control". She also asked me if I really wanted to spent time with anyone who can so willingly turn on me and would I ever feel the same and be able to relax and be me. Nutty is right, I'm not one to walk on egg shells. (I'm too fat for one ha ha)

Frances, is in agreement with the girls and I have to say that these 3 combined are my rock, always there to guide and help, or kick my backside whichever is needed.
I have a little saying of my own, "If enough people whom you trust and respect are all signing from the same hymn sheet, it's time to sit up and take notice"

Well they are all in tune, so I won't be going back to all this madness, after all it is beyond my control.

I am hoping now that this will be the last I ever have to do with this woman.
Has it put me off trying to make friends with new people, to be honest it has, but I am hoping this will pass and I will regain my belief that everyone is worth trying to get to know, after all you never know what you will learn from them.

However I think it will be some time before I recover from this.

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