Have You Not Met Me Before!!!!!!!!!

Hello Everyone,

I'm so glad you all had a good time at our Valentines Ball, it was a lot of fun getting it ready, but off course due to the fact that you all like my dos and carry-ons I will have to come up with something even better next time round, or you might all stop coming.
I can already here the cogs in my brain doing overtime.

I had an interesting conversation today. It would appear that I am not in fact Jewish after all.
Well this is according to my friend, who is under the misconception that in order for me to be Jewish I must talk, walk, dress and act in a certain manner which can only be described as a comedy act.

I'm also not funny or neurotic like Woody "bloody"Allen and I can't sing like Barbara Streisand.
Couple that with an ambivalent relationship with God and you get me...apparently.

I was going to explain to her that as my Mother was Jewish, as was my Father, but more importantly my Mother, that in itself makes me Jewish.
The fact that I was raised in a large Jewish family made me Jewish, the fact that my whole culture is Jewish and that my whole being meant that I was Jewish. My morals, principles and beliefs were strongly reinforced by my Jewish upbringing. Yes! I know I am not so good on the God stuff...I don't see it as a failing in my Jewishness.
All my little idiosyncrasy make me Jewish, the way I run my house and my kitchen, darn it even my bloody fridge is laid out in a Jewish fashion. Then there is the way I pack a shopping bag, never raw meat and dairy in the same bag. Right down to the way I raised the kids.

But in all honesty I had to pity her, after all if I wanted to have a conversation with an IQ that low, I'd be in the supermarket talking to the cabbages.
I have never once said that I was good at being Jewish. What I will stand by is the fact, that I am what I am and I won't apologise to anyone for being me and being proud to come from a Jewish heritage.

I'm sure God will deal with me as he or she sees fit, come the time. When God asks me the question "What exactly were you playing at down there?" I shall look God straight in the eye and say "I was doing the best I could do with the circumstance you gave me to deal with"
One of us will get a shock and I can't say right now which one of us it will be. Me for suddenly realising there was a God all along OR God for realising that he/she has a challenge on their hands.

I shall not be phoning her again in a hurry, not that I phoned her. She the Catholic girl phoned me to say that she was cheating on her husband and would I cover her sorry backside for her this coming weekend by saying she was here in London with me.

No! I bloody well will not!!!!!

There are a lot of things I will do for my friends.
Phone me at 4am and I will be there for you.
When you are suffering and in pain, I will try comfort you.
Find yourself homeless and I will put a roof over your head.
When your car breaks down, I will drive you places you need to be.
Realise that you need a break and I will try to take the pressure of you and have your kids.
When you have no food, I will share mine with you.
If you are sad, I will cry with you.
I will celebrate with you.
Watch Rom-Coms and pointless soaps with you.
If you ask me a question I will answer honestly.
Cry with you.
Mourn with you and help you through all the stages.
I will shop, laugh, sometimes get drunk, drink coffee and put the World to rights with you.
Listen to you while you moan about your boyfriend, partner, husband, kids, sisters, brothers etc. etc....even if you moan to me about your mum, although this is hard for me as I would love to have my mum alive to annoy me.
Dance around your lounge and sing off key like a teenager, just a laugh with you.
I will be there for you to talk over your problems and worries and try to help you find a way through it all.
I will even back you up about the price of those shoes or that dress you have marked down by at lest 25%, when your significant other asks the price.

But I will not cover up your infidelities and if for some twisted reason that makes me NOT Jewish, well good, frankly because I wouldn't want to shame my self, let alone my Jewishness.

I don't hold with infidelity, never have and never will.
I don't judge people who commit infidelity, if it floats their boat so be it. However I won't cover up for any one who does and that would include my own family.
I have been known to see it going on and tell people to get it together and sort out their mess, but I will not hide it for anyone.
If my friends man was up to no good, I won't tell her, but I would tell him that I know and that if she asks me directly, if he was having an affair, I wouldn't lie to her for him.
That my loyalty lies with my friend and not him, simply because she is my friend. But I won't be the one to break her heart unless she asks me directly.
No one needs me to do that for them when their partner is about to do it so much more effectively and anyway even if I do tell them it then gives the guilty party chance to cover their tracks and carry on as if it's normal.
Why would I want to do that, she my friend.

Infidelity is a mean, selfish and nasty thing to do. Lie builds, upon lie. For me it wouldn't be the fact that my partner is having sex with some one else that would hurt, but rather the lies, upon lies he told me in order to get that sex with some one else that would rip me apart or that my own friends helped with the lies.
Why the hell would I want to be involved in that?

You'd think after 12yrs of friendship she would have known my answer, after all this is not her first affair or the first time she has asked me to cover for her.
One of us clearly doesn't know the other one very well.
Time to review that friendship I think, after all I haven't heard from her for 6months, funny the same length of time she has been having an affair.