Tuesday, 28 July 2009

When Does A Friend Become More

When does a friend cross over the line and become so much more?

This question has been rumbling around in my head for some time now. As some of you know E is not my blood sister, she is adopted into our family and we are very close indeed. Despite the fact that we are in so many ways polar opposites. We have a very strong bond and despite the fact that over the years people have tried to come between us, there is no breaking the bond between us. I love E, totally and completely, even if we do drive each other mad at times and we certainly bicker like we are sisters, people often say that they didn't realise we had adopted each other. Neither of us can remember when we adopted each other, it just evolved that way.

On our recent trip to wet Wales (I'm sure it doesn't always rain, just when I am there lol), we found ourselves coped up in our tents together and having long conversation, where once again we found that we both were much more alike than we had thought we were, often thinking along the same lines and being able to know what the other one was thinking. I am in fact closer to E, than any single member of my family and that's really special.

But recently, I have been thinking about another friend, the wonderful, colourful and soulful Nutty. Nutty is an amazing woman with great insight, who has had my back since the first time we met. We actually met on line at a forum site that I no longer have much to do with, due to the troubles I had with someone else, I stupidly thought was a friend (see my post "I Never Said I Was Perfect parts 1 to 3) to be honest the one thing that kept me going through all that was Nutty and her incredible ability to see things from both sides, while letting me know that I hadn't gone totally mad and misread every thing that was exploding around me and that I wasn't the one in the wrong, even when I retaliated and told her she didn't judge me, but rather told me that she had been surprised by my restraint, while at the same time telling me to let it go and move on and what the hell did it matter if one person with serious issues and mental health problems thought of me, my true friends knew me well enough to know that, that wasn't the real me this woman was rubbishing.

Nutty and I speak most days on the phone, lucky we don't live nearer to each other or I'd be at her house all the time. There is something very magical about Nutty, she has a comics way of looking at life and can always find the crazy funny side in just about everything. I knew before we met that we would become good friends (remember we had met on line) and I have not been disappointed in my thoughts. Nutty and her little family have become very important to me.

Today we were on the phone making arrangements for the middle of August, when myself and E are due to go up to her home and take care of her animals, so she, her partner and their 2 little ones can go on holiday for a few days and the whole time we were talking was just filled with laughter. In fact Callum complained about the amount of noisy laughter. Nutty makes me laugh like a drain. She really does have a very special and rare gift for that. Her frank talking, mickey taking is the best medicine I have come across in any single human being. I always come away from a conversation with her feeling light headed and refreshed.

Lately, I have been thinking that I am very lucky to have this incredible creature in my life and I don't know how I know, but I know we are both in this for the long haul and I don't feel as though I have to watch what I say or be careful what I say, rather that I can really be myself, warts and all.

I think Nutty has become so much more than just a great friend, she feels so much more than that to me and I simply adore her.


  1. Kindred souls--they're wonderful, eh?

    I have a few folks I've crossed paths with that can reduce me to laughing tears and they're priceless--absolutely wonderfully awesome folks.

    The good news is.....you're made to love more than one person at a time. And I'd wager you're quite good at it! :-)

    Consider yourself graced to have crossed paths with such treasures. I know I do.


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